We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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