he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
A bitchslap is in order.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
