It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
