I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
