Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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