Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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