are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
