I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
