Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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