He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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