I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
