She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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