when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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