I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she looked like the before picture.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
