dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
