I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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