just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we're making bets on your personal life
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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