She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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