You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
