take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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