She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
