the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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