I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i out mim tonsoeep
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