Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I need moral support for this bender
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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