Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
