Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
