I skipped work to stalk him.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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