did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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