i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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