There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
