so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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