i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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