Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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