A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
