You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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