No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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