I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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