I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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