i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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