So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
