This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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