He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
