Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
