Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
