4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
please come you make the beer taste better
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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