im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
