We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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