Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
