I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
