she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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