you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
