Michael Bay diarrhea
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize