My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
