Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
